How the Goats can make a million bucks

Feltan · Post by **Feltan** » Apr 03 2007

The forums are in the doldrums, so I thought I would offer a unique idea to spice things up a bit.

This last weekend I was in a Wal-Mart store. I rarely go there (long story), but it was the choice of last resort as I was canvassing local stores for an obsolete brand of sparkplug for a very old lawn mower. As I expected, Wal-Mart didn't carry it, but I had to check them out before I special ordered the part.

While I was there, out of habit, I wandered by the software games section to see the latest offerings available. It was in that aisle that I had a "eureka" moment for the Goats.

There was a group of teenage boys oogling the offerings. I had to supress my natural reaction at seeing these yutes, and stiffle the desire to reflexively yell out, "Hey you kids, get off my lawn!" The inner curmudgeon really wanted to come out, but I was able to keep him bottled up.

I observed them. I took note of what interested them, and listened to their comments. As a teenager, I don't recall me or my friends smelling of Clearasil and exhibiting such poor taste -- but there they were, in all their youthful excitement. Their comments would barely qualify as communication in the English language, but one could get the gist of what they found appealing. And believe me, what they found appealing was clearly in the least common denominator category. Monsters, naked women, cars, aliens and blatant gore seemed to dominate their favorites.

If SR2020 was on the shelf it wouldn't get noticed by these consumers. In fact, I suspect that a large part of the gaming consumer profile is not largely different than this sample that I witnessed on a Saturday afternoon at a Wal-Mart store.

That is a damn shame. SR2020 is going to be a far finer product than most of the crap that was on the store shelf.

And then the light bulb went off.

So, in a nutshell, here is how the Goats can make a killing.

1. Keep developing SR2020 as planned.

2. Create a scenario that has a racetracks prominently positioned around the globe. No function, just pictures.

3. Rename the product "NASCAR Wars" with the subtitle, "Supreme Ruler 2020 included for FREE!"

4. Change the box art -- very critical. You need a Dukes of Hazard type scene with leggy busty scantily clad women holding machine guns.

5. Change the ESRB rating to mature, over 17, violence with sexual themes (something I noted the teens were very clued into -- a kiddy rating meant automatic rejection by this group of discerning consumers).

There you have it. Goats, follow these simple steps and prepare to retire in luxury!

Regards,
Feltan

ainsworth74 · Post by **ainsworth74** » Apr 03 2007

Now this is the sort of quick money making scheme i like!

Cheatin poor teenagers similar to myself, now thats my idea of fun. However i have a possible problem with this grand scheme, I dont know how you do it in the USA, but over here i'm pretty sure that the goats would get in serious trouble for false advertising.

However other than that it seems like a good plan!

Lightbringer · Post by **Lightbringer** » Apr 04 2007

I like it because I would be able to wait approximately 2 days after the initial release of 2020....then buy it used at any local games reseller. (presumabley about 5 minutes after some pissed-off, bored, semi-retarded teens walked out with beer money in their grubby fists (the one they weren't using to hold their size 50 jeans up with..

).

Ains, the goats could actually code a gun toting bimbo race game in about 30 minutes that would satisfy the "truth in advertising" requirement.

Heck, just make the ministers "Hawt Chix" with scanty tops and ample cleavage.

ainsworth74 · Post by **ainsworth74** » Apr 04 2007

Thinking on a clear head, light you are most definently right, just look at some of todays offerings! Flipping through my latest PC gamer (uk), there are some games in there that leave you thinking "How can the developers sleep at night". So for the goats it wouldnt be much of a challenge to come up with a simple gun toting bimbo race game.

My appologies for attempting to point out any flaws in this plan

.

Il Duce · Post by **Il Duce** » Apr 04 2007

Works for me! I suppose regionalization would not be an issue, either.

Post by **George Geczy** » Apr 04 2007

"Supreme Gun-Toting Bimbo Racers!"

Now that's a title that will catch a publisher's attention - at least EA or Take2 would buy it

And here on the forum we could argue about Bimbo dipolmacy, the equipment specs of the racers, what sort of advantage the Russian Bimbos would get, and so on.

Though per the original concept for this thread, we do know that strategy games of any type are a niche these days - especially in North America. EB Games/GameStop in particular have marginalized themselves on the PC games market, since they focus so heavily on console. Though we are still committed to bringing SR2020 to retail shelves in as big a way as possible, though I'm not sure we'll make it as far as Walmart.

PS - as much as I enjoy any discussion about how we can become insanely wealthy, I think we'll have to move this thread to 'off topic' at some point soon.

-- George.

Il Duce · Post by **Il Duce** » Apr 05 2007

George Geczy wrote:"Supreme Gun-Toting Bimbo Racers!"
And here on the forum we could argue about Bimbo dipolmacy, the equipment specs of the racers, what sort of advantage the Russian Bimbos would get, and so on.

Forget all that - let's discuss bra sizes. [Sorry - my inner chauvinist gets loose every now and then.]

Feltan · Post by **Feltan** » Apr 05 2007

George Geczy wrote: PS - as much as I enjoy any discussion about how we can become insanely wealthy, I think we'll have to move this thread to 'off topic' at some point soon.

-- George.

Fine. Just remember great ideas to make you a million bucks don't come along all that often!

Regards,
Feltan

BigStone · Post by **BigStone** » Apr 05 2007

Il Duce wrote:Forget all that - let's discuss bra sizes

YES .... "SR" will do i think ....

Lightbringer · Post by **Lightbringer** » Apr 06 2007

Bra's? BRA's??

What sort of self respecting Supreme Gun Toting Bimbo Racer would wear such a thing? I would think mini-bikinis (<- geez, try typing that 10 times fast!) would be the standard racing uniform.

Feltan · Post by **Feltan** » Apr 06 2007

BigStone wrote:
Il Duce wrote:Forget all that - let's discuss bra sizes
YES .... "SR" will do i think ....

SR?

Is this some Euro classification for bra sizes?

And, I think Light is right on the money -- Il Duce was thinking inside the box (so to speak) when he brought the issue of bra sizes up.

Regards,
Feltan

Lightbringer · Post by **Lightbringer** » Apr 07 2007

I've reflected upon it, and I think Il Duce was simply more interested in size, not actually seeing them in Bras. So in reply, I would have to say this: BIG!!

...actually , if I know the Goats, they would allow a full range of adjustable dimensions and features. Allowing us to create everything from 6'3" (2 meters) wild African amazons, to comfortably padded red haired, green eyed serving wenches, to anorexic, over inflated, blond Barbie dolls. Or anything in between.

Post by **George Geczy** » Apr 08 2007

Lightbringer wrote:I would think mini-bikinis (<- geez, try typing that 10 times fast!) would be the standard racing uniform.

Did you notice that every other letter in "mini-bikinis" is an "i" ?

That's interesting on so many levels....

-- George.

Il Duce · Post by **Il Duce** » Apr 11 2007

Lightbringer wrote:I've reflected upon it, and I think Il Duce was simply more interested in size, not actually seeing them in Bras. So in reply, I would have to say this: BIG!!

I think you finally figured it out. Personally, I only care if they're smart, but most of the target market for this product have an overwhelming fascination with the secondary sexual characteristic.