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"Alright gentlemen, the time for war is nearing. Our neighbors to the east will be our first targets. Our military may be small but it is highly advanced. We will crush them and from there, we shall take over the world!"


President Ricky Martin stood at the war table in his usual pair of stretch leather pants and little boy's shirt. His commanders stood around the map scratching their heads.

"Sir I'd hate to point this out but there is a big penis on that map", came the voice of his top military adviser.

"what do you mean?", responded a confused Ricky. "Well sir there is a giant ballsack in southern Guatemala and a penis surrounding the capital." "That is not a penis, it is a battleplan you buffoon. I am not gay!", Ricky shouted defensively. "I never said you - I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THESE WILD ALLEGATIONS!" Ricky screamed before the general could finish.

"Anyways, the plan is this. We will cut off the northern cities of Guatemala with our new FRES infantry compliments of the UK. After the line is secured, our tanks and artillery will bombard their northern cities into submission. Thankfully for them, I will provide the survivors with a thank you gift of my latest CD. Once we have secured the north, we will sweep down and secure southern Guatemala against any foreign aid. We will then head west and cut off their only naval base and then we shall have them."

"But sir you drew a line all the way back to the start thus making it look like a penis..."

".....I....well I thought it would be a good strategy for everyone to head back to the line and check in..that's all." Anyways, we will begin operation "Stick it in them" within the year. Our final artillery and AA vehicles will be done within 180 days and then we shall strike."

"Sir I think you mean Operation Stick it to Them....actually never mind.
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As you guys can see, I have quite a challenge ahead of me. I have less than 7k manpower for this war and Guatemala has over 45k. I am hoping that my advanced units will save me. Otherwise I am boned thuroughly.

My attack force will include
5-7 FRES Infantry (high defence and attack but high soldier demand)
2 Mobil AA units
2 Heavy Supply Trucks
2 Metal Storm Tanks
1 Miracle

I believe it can be done. The past 4 years have been a constant buildup of techs and manpower and if I can take Guatemala, I will have all the manpower I need to invade Cuba and El Salvador.

There it is. My next AAR

Oh cmon, be a man !
Take on the U.S. right now !

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This post approved by Tkobo:Official Rabble Rouser of the United Yahoos
Chuckle TM

now that i know who ricky martin is, i jsut want to say...give them a real blast!

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Economically people **** on me

"How come I have this mental image of tkobo's tanks running over these fleeing soldiers, saying 'what was that? oh, just a speed bump'... "

Nov 25, 2025 a day that will live in infamy...and coolness. Ricky Martin sounds the war bells to the tune of La Vida Loca. The small force of 5 FRES infantry fan out southward to cut off the northern city.


Unfortunately, they run into a problem. A BIG problem. Guatemala send out over 20 engineer units backed by 10 light tank units and surrounds the force. The infantry make a desperate retreat to reorganize back in the homeland. Unfortunately, 2 units are surrounded and destroyed. The beginning of the war has already resulted in 1 7th of the armed force being destroyed.

Thankfully, the survivors are able to fight off the enemy's fierce attack thanks to 4 units of the very powerful M280A1 MLRS Rocket artillery. The rockets hit with deadly force and take out a few of the retreating engineers.

By Nov 30th, the Belizian army reaches the small northern town of Flores and conducts a fast siege of the town. It falls within 24 hours.


With a good chunk of the Guatemalan army in tatters, the troops of Belize move to secure to front lines.
By December 9th, Belize had secured the front line capturing both Coban and Chiquimula. This effectively cut off Guatemala's only Western port of Puerto Barrios. The city had plenty of fight left in it as the slowly approaching Green Berets would soon find out.


The Belizean Green Berets began their horribly slow crossing of the channel connecting Lago de Isabel to the Carribbean. As soon as their crossing began, they were met with heavy artillery firing from Puerto Barrios. A distraction had to take place or the units would never cross alive.


Taking a big risk, Belize sent most of its in tact force to distract the Puerto Barrios defenders. The FRES infantry arrived quickly and began heavy fighting along the city's western perimeter.

Unfortunately, the gamble was a bad one. Guatemala decimated the 3 FRES infantry units, destroying 1 and severely damaging the others. Thankfully, the Berets made it across the river. Now Belize had to assign a unit of Green Berets and a Conscript unit to defend the western front while the rest of the armored infantry and artillery made their way to Puerto Barrios. This was turning out to be a bigger fight that Belize could afford.

December 22nd, 2025 - After over a week of fighting, the artillery arrives and begins shredding the defenders of the port city. With the new backing of artillery, it is only a short matter of time before it falls.


December 24th, the final defenders fight to the bitter end into Christmas. It is a sad day for Guatemala and a glorious day for Belize.


January 6th 2026 - Through the new year and Christmas, the tattered offensive force of Belize has been under repairs. Over 75% of the effective infantry are in reserve while the heavy artillery and some light defenders are the only thing holding back the storm.


An attack at any minute could spell certain doom.